Elden Dedon: I give you a 9. Your poem describes poetry perfectly. I'd describe poetry as a way to pour your soul and pain out so you can still be sane inside.
Gale Hartt: Words tooken straight from your heart to the page
Maria Devenney: an extremely sturdy artwork. Tristesse -- unhappiness .... is. Your poem conveys the right timbre of unhappiness, throwness, chaos (bitey dogs), and the poignant 2d of wistfulness in status earlier one's previous domicile -- now as one's existence condition has replaced plenty. Use mendicant interior the 2d to final line or consistent with danger indigent -- do not use beggar two times -- no ought to hit the reader on the top -- we get it -- your cash's long previous -- you're down and out. a touch polish and that's an extremely fantastic poem. Is it too own to be publishable? close -- possibly in an exceedingly arty small press pub this might fly. besides the undeniable fact that it exhibits the greatness of your skill as a p! oet. you have chanced on an exceedingly poetic theory. you have used particular concrete credible pictures (ouch). you have first rate cadence and ping, it hangs jointly nicely and convey something to the reader. great workout poem, shop it on your backpages. in case you get sought after (for different poems) look at it back, with your agent sometime. shop writing stuff this sturdy!...Show more
Brittney Inabnit: Check use of meter.Poetry to you and me, might not be the sameIdeas, words, hidden thoughts are what could be to blameFor poetry's no more than what you feel insideFlow of view and images of what might make us cryTo lift a spirit, lend a hand, we sometimes dream.It's the art of a poem, in which we redeem.Sometimes all it can be, is just a train of thought.Usually it’s the simple things each of us are taught.Hidden beauty of the world, watched through thoughtful eyesIt’s sometimes words of these things which we can disguiseThink about this carefully, read b! etween the linesHere is the beauty; creating poems so divine..! ..Show more
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